Chapter 3: Tales from the Hospital Ward: A Cynical Compendium

Greetings, my fellow sufferers of life's miseries. It is with a heavy heart and a light toe that I bring you the latest installment of my cynical, yet humorous journey through the bowels of a hospital. Yes, you read that correctly; my mom is the latest victim of the medical industry's insatiable thirst for maladies, and it's all because of a toe. A toe!

Now, let's dive headfirst into the abyss of my hospital misadventures.

Sleep, or lack thereof, is the bane of my existence. You see, dear reader, hospitals have this peculiar habit of leaving doors open at all hours, inviting an onslaught of invasive light from the corridors. How is one expected to rest when you're practically under a spotlight?

And then there's the food. Ah, food, the one pleasure left in this world. But alas, the culinary creations of this particular establishment are a cruel mockery of the very concept of taste. Imagine, if you will, a world where everything tastes like air. No, not the fresh mountain breeze or the salty sea air, just the air that you're breathing right now. That's the extent of the flavors on offer here.

Did I mention the climate? Forget the frigid temperature you'd expect in a hospital. No, this place is a sauna, a veritable tropical paradise in the middle of a concrete jungle. I half expect to see a palm tree sprouting from the linoleum floor at any moment.

But the greatest affront to my sensibilities comes from the pharmacy. In an institution dedicated to healing and well-being, you'd think they'd have a selection of literature befitting the occasion. Alas, no. Instead, they offer a cornucopia of poorly written novels that make a tabloid headline seem like Shakespearean prose.

And there you have it, dear readers. My life as a reluctant visitor to the world of healthcare. A journey filled with sleepless nights, flavorless meals, sauna-like temperatures, and books that should be used as kindling. Ah, the joys of modern medicine!

And to add insult to injury, my hospital stay has been punctuated by the unsolicited gift of literature from various religious figures. Apparently, they feel it's their holy duty to save my soul from the perils of premarital sex and the evils of modern dating. The irony is palpable.

Chapter 2: lil late - From Nostalgia to Lost Hope: My 2011 Odyssey

Hello world, I'm back! After a decade-long hiatus filled with canceled albums, lost loves, and a tragic loss, I have returned to grace you with my cynical rant.

Let's start with the obvious: Music. Remember those albums that were supposed to be released in 2011? Yeah, they're still not out, well they were but are now cancelled. Because cd baby and distrokid dont like me, It's I got lost in some cosmic limbo between creativity and perfectionism. I guess you can call it the "Artistic Bermuda Triangle."

And speaking of things not going as planned, my personal life has been a roller coaster. The loss of my dear old dad hit me like a truck. Coping with that, along with two more kids and a bunch of exes, has been like trying to juggle flaming swords while balancing on a tightrope. It's no surprise I turned to writing to keep me sane. Well, as sane as a cynical writer can be.

But hey, every cloud has a silver lining, right? I found my weird inspiration in all this chaos. It's like life looked at me, shrugged, and said, "You think you've seen it all? Hold my beer." In a world where the only constant is change, finding humor in the absurdity of life has become my coping mechanism.

So here I am, back from the abyss, ready to spread my cynical humor to the masses. Stay tuned for more tales of woe, hilarity, and maybe even a sprinkle of hope. After all, what's life without a little laughter, even if it's laced with a touch of cynicism?

Chapter 1: PISSED OFF RAPPER

                                                     Chapter 1: PISSED OFF RAPPER
         
                     I was in a radio station called mix 107.7 and I was announcing my new "CD" sueños y leyendas, dreams and legends, drunk as a skunk, since I always used to repress my attitudes and emotions with alcohol.Big mistake, right under my nose while i was just spouting some of my diss act, with a Puerto Rican rapper called "Arcangel". While I was in the radio station, these guys just out of nowhere, "farruko" before he was named "emo" of the year down here, entered the room with a cocky swagga, looking like a rapper till he opened his mouth then I heard his song it sounded like...t-pain, but a spanish t-pain...and they love him....That's what i call good marketing.... followed by some other guy that at least said my name.        
       What pissed me off, is that they entered my radio time , without my permission, of course I am on air, and i can't say shit, isn't that fucked up? well i was dissing arcangel and i remember everybody went dam motherfucker you crazyyyy, that felt so good, that whole crowd euphoria following me because of a dumb word I said, it was awesome. BUT....You know why these radio people, did this to me, what i mean is...disrespect me and let people broadcast there product on my time.. something they would never let me do....I was just to humble, I was a good kid , course if I would have said something everything would have gone fine, 48 laws of power are just to right, and i started becoming a man so this was not a bad moment after all.
                     Explaining what diss or "tiraera is for a sec" here is the real definition, except for times like Biggie, 2-pac, Nas and Jay-z, those were apparently not publicity stunts. Rapper's for the sake of promotion, being known, and being respected we  do RAP BATTLES, since its competition and we want to demonstrate we are way better.
                      Problem is now they use something called a "street team", so if you diss a rapper, no matter how great, you are they have street teams and they are going to flame you destroying you're reputation. Dissing right now is a risky move if you are a rapper, you should talk it with the other rapper and negotiate, that is what all those rap battles you see are about, they are not gladiator matches, not prideful matches like they make you think they are, no, they are just publicity stunts.
                      I don't regret dissing those dudes, in fact I am gonna launch my  mixtape, with all my damn diss tracks which are all pure gold. In one I diss a guy that used to be my best friend, let's call him by his stage name "Big J", that one is called "You a'int no blood" you see, I mortally respect blood's and when somebody pretends to be one, its just more than funny, so i just kicked his ass lyrically for doing that. There's a famous rapper called "Arcangel" down here in P.R., by that time i really did not like his attitude in his songs, fairly said, he sounds like a prick, still does ummm: "no offense dude" so i coined the "Jigsaw" name for the first time in that song too. I diss other douche bag competitors, one of them which is actually a big fan gone mad, sorta like a big-fat-fag he really "adores me" he's called Davinchi.
                     Davinchi is just a guy with low self esteem, bad marriage, and also got pissed off, cause I did not include him in my big intro cd track, why not you might ask? ....he sucks!!!, i was not gonna ruin a 30,000 dollar cd, they would kill me. He just  has the worst songs ever, plain and simple, you can google him look for yourself and prove me wrong "ITS TRASH." there was literally hundreds of people asking me, why i was dissing him back??? Well simple: "he mentioned my fucking ex wife in a song, and only I get to diss her ". He used to rap with me , with another rapper called "defknot" or as i call him "defsnot" in a group called, "Unfuckables", haha you must be saying: "wow yes, that is very original" with sarcasm, yes the name does suck, you are not wrong, but, I did, vow for the group and till this day I thought I was with them.

                   Can you believe i saw "defsnot" in that song with him, dissing me too, it was funny, I helped defknot, placed him in a huge intro, with a lot of famous puerto rican rappers, but dont worry "defsnot" i am not dissing you, 1st buy a new mike.